Life's Trainee

I still consider myself a student, with no other aspects concerned or vague and deep interpretations included, at least for this semester even if had already received my college diploma last April, ‘cause I am still indeed a student. I think there exists a driving force in me motivating me to study further, to learn more things life has to offer, exploring any possible stuff I haven’t yet encountered. I feel so eager to improve myself in many ways; all of which I always remind myself to pay attention to, to become a holistic individual. Right now and in the next six years of my life, I’ll be investing a lot for the fulfilment of my greatest dream; one thing I could barely imagine would be possible. To pursue a medical career has always been a dream of mine but things would not be that easy to get. Reality most of the time suggests that sometimes we should be satisfied with what we have or to the extent of what we can acquire but I do not in particular stick to it. I firmly believe that in one way or another we can still have what we dream of and be what we aspire to be, just in time we didn’t expect it to happen, even when odds do not permit it and sternly persisting against our plans.

Four years had gone so fast and it took me a while to face the fact that my status as a student now faces its end. It made me then wonder how did it happen and to whom do I owe the inspirations I had in pursuing the last four years of my student life. April 24 marks the last commencement exercise I will be attending but it does not signify that I should stop striving for my improvement as a person. The idea that I will soon be graduating even welcomes me to a new phase of my life, a stage far different from what I used to have in the past 20 years of my life. I could still remember, when I was in second year high school, I was wishing of being a working man, earning for the family with no other concerns, but now, it seems like I’m craving for more years as a student, afraid of losing dependence from the older ones. But this is life, the changes occurring are irresistible. Only by complying with these changes that we will find ourselves caught in another set of opportunities and challenges life offers for further growth and development. I always keep in mind what Stephen Covey said about our capabilities; that it needs kaizen or continuous improvement. For me, my life is like a recipe. The main ingredients of my character have already been identified yet the seasonings that will add up more taste and twist to me as a holistic individual are not yet discovered. Well, I believe that I am not fully equipped to deal with the challenges that I may encounter but the inspirations and perseverance to achieve those residing in my soul serve the source of my strength to pursue things. A never-ending road awaits for us to take.

John Mark Katindig Torres

Realization On My 21st Birthday

Oh oh oh, it is my birthday and the date suggests my age as well. Starting the day right, I woke up before 5 am, did some washings, broke down the corridor of the apartment, passed the indoor pond and the garage and entered the canteen. As usual, rice as our staple food made the course with hotdog. It’s my day yet, I was alone taking my breakfast when I should be still at home in Bulacan with my family since in the university we usually have no classes on Mondays. I remembered a week before, we had plans of rescheduling our anatomy class on a Monday, and it will be made effective today. Anyway, I didn’t have the guts to wake up my roommate and join me with my meal given that he doesn’t have classes today and I’ll just be spoiling his deep sleep. Part of my everyday routine is to start taking a bath an hour or two before my appointment and for today, this was when my mom and some of my HS classmates started expressing wishes and greetings to me thru text messages. I wore my green polo shirt my mom gave me and walked to school. I felt so happy thinking that finally, my TTH class will be officially be rescheduled on a Monday because if this will be the case, I’ll be having more time for any part time job available. However, it turned out the other way and so I went back home very disappointed of my early return in Laguna on a Sunday. It was just pass 7 in the morning and I found myself caught in boredom. I started reading my syllabus in anatomy in preparation for next session. Then lunch came with my roommate; a time for some chit chats. After filling my gut, I started reading my third John Grisham’s book, A Painted House. Lying on my bed, I finished the first four chapters of the book and eventually fell asleep. Got woke up by a body clock at pass 4 in the afternoon and started responding to the greetings I’ve received via text messages. I then asked Princess, a good college friend of mine to join me for a dinner when I remembered that she has her sister with her. She asked me if she could bring Kim, her sister with her and of course, I found it nice to be with the two. Time passed so quickly and suddenly I had my outdoor attire worn, ready for the dinner. I decided to have our meal at Mommy Ludy’s (‘coz I was craving that time for cordon bleu which whenever we do grocery in Fairview is always part of our list). They made their own orders and I had mine done as well. Cess, as many of our friends used to call her, is a batchmate of mine in Microbiology and is currently taking her Masters in the said field. We had lots of stories shared as if we haven’t seen each other for years. Well, most of our accounts were our experiences for the past three weeks of June back in the university as students again. It always felt good exchanging discourses with her and moments with her just reminded me of my HS classmate who thinks very out-of-this-world. It’s my day and so with no words uttered, I’m the one who’s in-charge of the bill (a once in a blue moon thing, LOL). While I’m on the process of this blog, some sort of my bitter past crossed my mind but I think, it would be better to leave it unsaid. Anyway, I accompanied them back home and went to my place on my own afterwards. Oh by the way, on my way to LB Square (where most of the gimmick nights in Los Banos is held), Gela, college blocmate, called me through phone to say her thoughtful greetings. Upon meeting Cess, she handed me over a present, a set of nice papr clips and a stress ball, and of the two, I like the latter. It would be my second because my bestfriend and I exchanged one each before we left for Bulacan last April.

No one in my place knew that I was actually celebrating my birthday. I didn’t tell them and they didn’t ask ‘bout it when we all first met. It was I think pass 9 when I arrived home though I should be in our place much earlier. I always walk unhurried unless there are time constraints and the like. I was wondering that time with my feelings and a lot of things until I reached the front gate. I sat on a corridor bench, gazed at the stars quickly fading every now then above the clouds, thinking what’s with me all through these teenage years that I haven’t yet entered nor made moves to end up with, you know, a usual relationship. Am I still attached to the events of the past that it holds me back when I can actually and should move on? I really don’t think getting into a relationship would help things out. At some point that night, I realized that my status’ actually discomfits and causes me uneasiness and worries but what can I do, I can’t find the one who can replace YOU...

This pic was taken last May 2; an advance celebration while my dad's with us still coz he's working abroad.